Generation Xer vs. American Dreamers

I just finished "Generation X" by Douglas Coupland, and can officially say that I feel a slight sense of belonging. I didn't feel like I needed to belong until I felt like I actually did, which I guess is why I can identify with the so-called GenX. I was talking to my father the other night, about my plans for my future, my plans of Africa to help save animals, and his only question was "Does it pay well?"...No, it doesn't pay well, I will not come back with a lot of money, and I will not be purchasing real estate anytime in the near future, or ever as far as I am concerned. I don't want to own real estate. I don't want to have children. I only want to experience life as I see it, and absorb all the luster that I possibly can out of it. The very last story in GenX summed it up precisely. Andy got attacked by a giant bird then squeezed with love by a group of mentally challenged kids who were trying to heal him. Anyone who wasn't a GenXer would have thought that totally absurd, would have found it difficult to comprehend in any logical manner, but I just smiled and nodded...I understand. That is the sort of thing that makes us different from the rest. Those of them, whether colleagues, peers, parents, siblings, etc...that strive for the American Dream...the American Dreamers, who want nothing more than to get married, have kids, get a good, solid, secure job that goes nowhere but to the bank and die of a coronary or a stroke at the ripe old age of 75 or 85 or 95! Not for me thanks. I plan on having control over my future, to an extent, and being content with whatever else life throws at me. I don't see anything wrong with wanting job security and a nice house, it's just not what I want.

Also, I have decided that I am taking all of 2010 to take a much needed hiatus from dating and sex. No more of any of it. My head and heart must be cleared out, and nothing can get in my way of achieving a single step toward my future. I think I will start with learning French. It feels good to feel sure of something for once in my life. Happy 2010!

Tired of disappointment

Once upon a time, a little girl imagined and sketched her future wedding dress, dreamed of meeting the man of her dreams, getting married, having kids and living the American Dream. But this little girl knew that she was different, she knew her imagination would eventually get in the way of any realistic notion of what love actually is and how to find it.
This little girl started off broken by a male extended family member, of course, what else is new, always the same story, no, she is not looking for a pity party.
As this little girl grew up, time and time again, the male part of the species was disappointing at every turn. Cheaters, liers, players and scared little babies.
Today, I am 2 weeks away from turning 30, and am feeling the never ending twinge of disappointment, and have decided to embrace and document my newly single life, and see if I can come up with any answers or solutions to this perpetual life of lustfull encounters and stunted relationships.
Maybe if anyone reads this, or has any questions, we can solve my problems with dating and relationships, as well as other people's issues.
My generation seems to be filled with a large percentage of men that are afraid of commitment of any kind, and women who are desperate to get married. Men who want to stay little boys forever and women that are full of diluted and irrational dreams of what love it...What is up with that? Why are you men so goddamned scared of falling in love? And why are we women so caught up in the idea of signing a piece of paper to give ownership of yourself to another person? And why the hell can't we figure out a happy fucking medium? It seems to me, that all of us are going to end up alone and unhappy and then we will die. Fuck the American Dream, let's figure something else out already!