Shame

The spinster strikes again. I don't know why I keep doing this. I had no intention of saying what I said or doing what I did. I really didn't. It's like part of me wants there to be drama and pain, however, it certainly isn't the part of me that is experiencing the enormous sense of shame right now. I hate myself sometimes. Every time I close my eyes, I have a flash of some moment and then feel the shame all over again. FUCK. If I could take off my own head for a few hours, it would make life a lot easier. Did I destroy something that I cherished? I may have. I hope I didn't, but I wouldn't be surprised. Stupid Spinster!