I'm feeling damaged, like I wasted so much of my good time. Now I'm 30 and my belly is fatter and my skin isn't as bright, and I think I wasted 5 of my best or rather, most opportunistic years.
I keep meeting men that are just as, if not more, damaged as I am. One I met, might be a keeper...he is just as emotionally unavailable as I am, but also is a passionate person that thinks about more than just himself. I'm not going to write too much about him, because I don't want to jinx it, but I'm finding myself thinking of him a lot.
The guy I met from last week apparently has the longest running migraine headache in the world, because I haven't heard from him. He was kind of an elitist anyway, one of those hip hop snobs that only listens to early underground freestyle hip hop...whatever, I like Tupac, and Biggie, Ludacris and even Kanye West! So there.
Beyoncé has nailed it yet again...If I Were a Boy is a perfect song...I think I wrote a poem similar to it once when I was younger...but she vocalizes it very well.
I have to say that these online dating sites bring out the freaks from every direction! I have met some strange boys. Also a couple of nice guys, that I am hoping to keep as friends. One in particular, I think he's gay, he's cute enough to be gay, and there are certain things that make me wonder. I hope he is. I need a gay guy friend. I wish my therapist was still around.
Well that's all for now.
Spinster
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