Really? Still Wild at 30??

I doubt it. Out of the eight people I sent my evite to, I have gotten two yes' and one no. Hmm? It's fine, it will still be fun, even if only a few of my closest friends show, but admittedly I am starting to feel a little pathetic. I'm not sure if I'm one of those people grasping onto my youth with both hands before it slips away, or if I'm going to grow old gracefully, but right now, I'm starting to feel slightly anxious about my self analysis.
Relax! Christ, my skin has broken out, I've had bad thoughts in my head a lot lately. I have to shake them off and out of my head, or they will invade my dreams and I have plenty of content to fill my dreams with during the night.
Unfortunately, my long time friend and short time lover that I spoke of a week or so ago has stopped writing me altogether. He has some major stuff going on, but it saddens me that after all these years, he doesn't need me at all, not even as a friend.
On a happier note, for my birthday party I am going to see my "dreamboat" bartender who I have had a crush on for 7 or 8 years, but I am determined to not drink too much, take it easy and have a good time...not make an absolute fool of myself. So far, so good. I have gone out twice since my breakup and neither time drunkenly attacked any unsuspecting male friend or stranger. Maybe my "dirty thirties" will be a little cleaner than my super dirty twenties. And maybe, someday, I can retire my self earned title of "Spinster" and just be me.
Here's to hoping!