Too much in my head!

Last night I dreamt that I was dating an android version of Robert Downey Jr. He still looked the same, only he had almost no personality, until of course, I reached in his pants and all of a sudden he was his regular self...as I imagined anyway.
Ugh, too much in my head. I sleep and have dreams that make me more tired than when I went to sleep.
I am in the midst of an argument with a close friend and former short term F-Buddy who seems to think that all my cynicism and loneliness has to do with him and his leading me on. I will admit that there is some of that there, however, it takes more than a one-day/night stand to cause me such grief. I certainly have "been around the block" enough times to know that sexual encounters don't mean nearly as much after the fact, as they did at the time. I'm certainly not an idiot.
Although, I do really miss that momentary connection with another human being, the touching of a man's face, the feel of the stubble on my lips...the snuggling...I know I'm pathetic.
But what heterosexual girl doesn't like that? I'm only capable of disconnecting to a certain extent, not completely.
Once upon a time, when I was whoring around on a daily basis, I could disconnect, but at the same time, I was out for revenge against anyone with a penis, so I cannot say that it was a productive time.
And I am not looking to go back to that system, it hurt a lot of people, including myself and took a lot of therapy to fix it.
So I will go out on Friday night hoping to meet someone who I find the least bit intriguing and probably will go home disappointed and it will just keep going.
Christ! Somebody slap me already....this is fucking ridiculous.